The Sandwich Generation

Are you part of the “Sandwich Generation?” Nearly 25% of Americans are –no, I don’t mean those who frequent Subway or live to create culinary masterpieces on bread. The phrase “Sandwich Generation” is of recent origin; in fact Merriam-Webster officially added the term to its dictionary in July 2006. The Sandwich Generation is a generation of people who care for their aging parents while supporting their own children. Due to the extension of our life expectancy and the phenomenon of “delayed adulthood,” more and more of us are faced with being sandwiched between caring for those above and below us. There are variations on this theme-there are:

The Traditional Sandwich: those sandwiched between aging parents who need care and/or help and their own children.

The Club Sandwich: those in their 50s or 60s sandwiched between aging parents, adult children and grandchildren, OR those in their 30s and 40s, with young children, aging parents and grandparents.

The Open Faced Sandwich: anyone else involved in elderly care.

If you find yourself in this stage of life or if you sometime may, let me assure you that caring for children and parents has been part of God’s plan for as long as there have been families. I have recently read again the story of Joseph as found in Genesis, I noted particularly in chapters 45-50 you find some great examples of parenting from the side of the child caring for an aging father – in this case Jacob. It also shows the attitude of the parent to his adult children, in this case Joseph and his brothers. I could summarize it in two words: Care and Cooperation. These are the essential attitudes on both sides of parenting. They are ones I want to work on and invite you to do the same. Until next time…

Anyone seen the Queen?

I have always believed in being prepared, so just in case you happen to run into the Queen of England, here are some of the official rules for meeting royalty:

• Women should curtsy and men should nod their heads

• If the Royal person offers a hand, the handshake should be short and not hard

• Allow the Queen to leave the room first; backs should never be turned toward the Queen

• During meals, the Queen eats first and when she stops the others at the table stop

• If something drops at dinner do not speak; someone will retrieve it quietly and without fanfare

So why all the fuss? Because there is a place for showing honor to a person of a superior position. Honor is a key ingredient to any relationship. The Bible is clear, both in family and in society in general, in that He expects us to honor others (Eph. 6:2, 1 Pet. 3:7, 2:17). We often seek honor for ourselves when we need to heap it on others. So you may not meet a king or queen this week but there is someone in your life that you need to treat like one; do it to honor the God who has made us all.

Real Love

I love asking questions; recently I asked this question online via www.OneDailyQuestion.com: What is the perfect Valentine gift? I was somewhat surprised at the responses both online and in person. Most folks did not mention the usual gifts- very little talk of cards, flowers, candy, jewelry, etc. Instead it was a gift selected to match the person or dinner out or some time together. In our overly commercialized world, we can understand retailers pushing romantic trinkets our way but when it comes to love, the best gift we can give is ourselves. We sometimes fall prey to the thinking that we can substitute “things” for time. We must spend time adding value to others and nurturing relationships.

So on this Valentine’s Day, which is devoted to love, it would be a good time to devote some time and personal attention to those we are to love. So even if you have a box of candy ready or a nicely wrapped present to be delivered, don’t forget to deliver yourself. After all ,when God wanted to display his love to us He didn’t send a card, He sent His son.